Anger Management

The bus driver drives away just as you get to the bus stop . . . Your friend borrows your favorite earrings and loses one . . . Your date shows up an hour late without calling . . . Every day, situations like these occur. They can irritate, annoy, and provoke people.

Some cultures are comfortable with expressing anger, but in other cultures it is unacceptable to express anger. In the United States, people often have difficulty expressing anger in appropriate ways. This has led to "anger management" classes that help people learn how to deal with situations that make them angry.

For example, imagine that you have gone to a hair salon and the hairstylist has given you a terrible haircut. What is the best way to handle this situation?
a. Yell at the stylist and refuse to pay for the haircut.
b. Pretend you love the cut, then complain to all your friends for weeks.
c. Pay, but let the stylist know you are unhappy and probably won't return.

If you answered (a), you have what anger management specialists call a "boom" response. You explode with anger. This response usually causes more problems than it solves. It makes others become angry and upset, too, and emotions can quickly spiral out of control.

If you answered (b), you have a "brood" response. You hold your anger inside, and brood over the incident for a long time. This can cause headaches, back pain, depression, or other symptoms.

If you answered (c), you know how to express your angry feelings in a positive way. According to anger management specialists, keeping calm is the key to anger management. About 200 years ago, U.S. President Thomas Jefferson said, "When angry count to 10; when very angry count to 100." This is still good advice!